I never tries to blog my personal thoughts when I blog, caused I felt it's too naked. But yes, I couldn't resist to blog this time, I don't know when this post will be posted up cause I just set a random days for blogger to post this up. ***CROSS FINGERS IT WOULDN'T BE THAT SOON***
Everyone who had been in a relationship will comes to this stage that you'll be tired somehow. We had quarrels that go on and on. I’m so tired, so tired of getting loving with you then we the next moment we started quarreling again. Both of us might be so tired till we felt like giving up at anytime. Sometimes I wish I'm a introvert person instead, though might be lonely being alone, it seems even better than having a mate with me with problems rising up any moment.
Sometimes when you don’t let go, you felt that your heart hurts but ended up nothing changes.
But at times when you let it go, your heart could feels those hurtful deep cuts stabbing, the pain became so unbearable, even worse than times you bite on your lips telling yourself to keep holding on. You regretted, the fact is that you can’t just let go.
For some reasons, things didn’t go on smoothly between the both of us these months. After we had confined to each other what causes these unhappiness, thought problems solved, it came back again.
I don’t like the way that I’m placed at the same priority as family and friends. I feel that you just need this girl who fits in your needs, your comfort zone, only when friends/family are not free, you would then ring a phone, getting me to travel to your house and accompany you, you didn't really mean it when I asked for some personal time together. Though you are sweet, you never tried to be more attentive to me when we’re out with your friends/family. & hey, did you ever hear that friends and family is always there for you, but your girlfriend has a pair of legs that can run away? If you love and care for me like what you said, shouldn’t you even care and try to make your girlfriend feels always so comfortable in any events/outings? If you did, do you think I would be that unreasonable and being unhappy? & why did you even do those dirty little actions of guys’ nature that hit me so hard because I feel and think that you’re starting to get bored and sick of me. Sigh self confidence really got knocked down so damn hard. Then some small sensitive things that came along at this point of time when I'm getting so insecure and unstable, tell me how do I feel?
I felt this pain so unbearable painful, because this was the first time in my whole entirely life that I had felt this way. No one ever brings me down till this deep before … Really hurts a lot, I swear.
I always believed, “Letting this relationship go is better if we started to quarrel so frequently. At least right now at this point of stage in a relationship, the earlier we let go the lesser the hurt is caused isn’t it?” So what if I love him, I don’t see our problems improving, instead more misunderstandings were created.
But this time round, I decided to hold on to what I have right now and give this relationship a last try. Trying to build this relationship back, together, picking myself up --- the self confidence loss in me really brings me down.
