Now you're just somebody I used to love

Seriously you don't come and go as and when you want. When you felt betrayed and filled with anger, you pushed me away even thou I've tried ways to get back together. You were the first that made me lower down my own ego and pride and tried to be everything you wanted me to be cause I really thought you're worth keeping. But what did you do? You treated me like I'm a nobody to you at that point of time. You laughed you smiled you enjoyed your time with your friends and family back then and you kept me suspend in middle of those nights with once a developed habit of mine - the tendency to stay awake until I hear your voice, knowing you're home before I could sleep every night. I wanted to keep you close to me so badly, maybe that's why I allowed you to treat me in such a harsh way that time - I thought if by doing so it can make you lessen your anger and we could be back together again, I'm willing to go thru all the tough times. Traveling down just to meet and spend little time with you, for a urge of need; waiting up all night at home just for a call from you, when usually its just "I'm home, good night". I really did my best to try to hold you back, try to make things right despite your outrageous behavior. You don't give a damn about me and asked me to let go because you were tired being in a relationship (with me).
Nobody, no one around you knew what had happened back then in my house. They understand your side of story, I cheated on you I wanted freedom, yes I'd have the choice of decision but who knows the details what exactly triggers me to behave that way? Even I'm at fault, no men should lay his hands on a woman, especially when she's the one you always told her you loved her.

I see you again after months, you reminded me of us when we were together. Actually the ending of us was different from what I wanted, I'd wished you stayed. Those promises we made; the htht moments where we shared the same vision in mind how our future would be like together; those hand written letters, hand craft/drawn cards, posts on my blog dedicated just for you, remembered how I used to make time during weekday just to head down to your place to iron your clothes so that you have choices to choose what you want to wear out during weekends, change your bedsheet before you book out because I know how much you've missed lying on clean and comfy bed, packing your stuff for you into your bag every single time before you book in etc. Sometimes I wonder why I'm willing to do so for you... Maybe it's because you were once my sweet love and I told myself you were the right for me. You took care of me pretty well, and I'm so thankful for your parents and family too. You are a nice boyfriend in many ways, yet we always had arguments over the same issues over and over again which accumulate unhappiness in us leading to such an ending. Yes, I still feel the ache if I got to know something bad happened to you, because afterall you were someone I used to care so much, it's very difficult for me not to bother and feel a thing, I'm human who needs time for withdrawal. Now you told me you wanted me back. With fears, I have to tell you the love is long gone, all left with memories. Still think of you whenever I hear your name, or someone mentioned about you, I would think of all that we could have had, and all that could have happened but didn't in the end.
But you're now just somebody that I used to love, that's the truth. I wish you well, you'll definitely find a better suitable girl out there.

Cowardice to love, as loving someone and admitting it means responsibility, less freedom in some aspects, sharing independence and a kind of bond.