Okay basically my whole september was busy shitz. Been involving with setting up and opening of Aaron's coffeeshop at yishun. He had suffered a lot during this period, but I'm happy for him cause he's getting more mature and responsible somehow? But please uh, I am just helping him out, nothing else. Please don't call me Kopi soh. My mum gave me a name for a reason.
These days I've been reflecting about my life. I've been happier now, I don't tear because of relationship problems nor get upset w Aaron over small little issues. Okay, maybe not yet time cause everyone been telling me Aaron and I (I and Aaron, whichever way you want to phrase it) still in honeymoon period. But I've this feeling I actually changed a lot in this relationship. I don't expect anything from him because I fear facing disappointment. I don't put in too much feelings because I don't want to get too attached to him and after that experience the same breakup shit again. I'm not very sure what I want from this relationship. I've been quite a shitty girlfriend and I don't understand how Aaron stands my nonsense whenever I'm drunk hahahahahahahahahaha.
I wish time could slow down. I wish things could be simple. Why as you grow older, things get more complicated? Why can't things be kept simple like how it used to be when we were young? I miss those time when we had love thats so pure and innocent.
Oh and I've been drinking way too much this month. I don't think I can go back to healthy lifestyle anymore... Le sighhh. And I don't understand why I used to feast so much when I'm with Gabriel during weekends yet I could maintain my weight but why now I can't even thou I don't feast during weekends anymore? Mei you li you lea walao eh zzz
Grandma passed away right after the hungry ghost month. I'm not very attached to parental grandparents thou. Understood that people come and go, a life cycle. But I still can't accept the fact that my dad is not around till today. Will still tear whenever I miss him. He meant a lot to me, the one that showered me with love and dote me since young. Can never find a guy who will love me like how my dad do. Okay, maybe I did, found somebody but I gave up holding on to the relationship because I want my freedom instead.
But this wake allows Ryan Karen and I to hang out more often. I've been lucky to have cousins like them. Not all are close to their cousins like how I could. Can't ask for anything more, blessed.
I asked a question during the wake, why do we need to inform others about your death and what if we don't know your friends? How do we inform? Ironic much, I'm always the one that like to ask this kind of question.
