Hi I'm back to here. In a dilemma whether I should lock this blog up soon cause I wanted some privacy of my own, a place where I can note and voice things out w/o being judged. Don't read this post cause I guess its pretty much difficult to grasp what's happening. Summarized, its just that my life had been really complicated.
Anyway just wanna say I am fine people :) Out there who cares, I love you. Thank you. Your concern really much appreciated! I'm coping up just fine and no worries, I'm titanium! HAHAHAHAHA
You know, when you're so lost and you fall into the dark hole, yet someone came up and gave you hand to help you up, I'm pretty sure I'm blessed somehow. Always look on the bright side of life right? I'm happy I had people to turn to, thou they might not be 24/7 there for me, at least they are out there somehow trying their ways to make me feel okay. Can never leave w/o you guys, but its my own ability now to pull myself up and move on. I guess I just have to tell myself I don't deserve anything lesser and its been months yet he had not put in much effort as expected... Anyway, its over between Aaron and me. Cleared it off somehow and yes we're done on our own ways again. Guessed its pretty easy for both of us to move on since we didn't had big dramatic changes in any of our daily lives when we're together except that I tend to stayover his place in the nights that's all? Its pretty much all about him when we're together. So I predict my withdrawal period would take some time but definitely I would overcome it!
Been in a mess, and I'm still stuck in the same one after so long, I really have no idea what to do. I know everyone was just trying to protect me and I have my own mental obstacle to cross too. I am not ready for these, though some part of me still detained thoughts about Gabriel from time to time, I'm sure they are just memories cause he used to be part of me (even my whole bed essentially like pillow bolster bed sheets are all from him). So that's how significant he had created in my daily life. Just not sure what to do how to do right things to say. Yeap. That's how screwed up I am right now and either do I want to fail anybody (other than my mum the only exception, I guessed I've failed her expectations in me thousands over time) or to make any regretful decisions either.
Really redundant post, but I really feel much better after typing how I feel except maybe I had been a little bit reserved in the way I expressed myself? I don't know its not long that I found I actually still have visitors on my blog... Amazing, cause I thought I had gone pretty much silent about this space.
Don't tell me you love me when you're gonna hurt me afterall.
