Shall just do a short update on what's up with me and my life now if you don't find it boring.
Every month I will have a meetup dinner with soapy winnie and py! Awesome gathering every month so that all of them could unwind a bit, bottle out all kind of unreasonable incidents that happened when they worked. I know taking up a full time job is a stressful thing. Parts and parcels of growing up process. As for me, I really had no more interest in continuing my studies... Idk if I should share it on my blog but I guessed not many are reading my blog anyway. I chosen this course mainly because of my father's idea. He wants me to take up accountancy at that point of time but I weren't interested in any he suggested. I only want to pursue my design course, but everyone around me don't think that's a good choice.
So ended up I got into Information Technology and hoping I could get over the 3 years. But as years passed, I'm so tired of forcing myself to school every single day. I know I should have the discipline and responsible to finish up this course no matter what, especially when my father is no longer around... I understand how much responsibility I had to hold, I'm just trying to escape. I have no idea what's coming who will be there to hold me when I am gonna fall.
Sometimes I'd blamed myself, for if I weren't that thoughtful in the past, I didn't have to act up like a strong headed girl who could stand up by herself and being so independent at all times, where my dad don't have to be worried about me, my dad might not have left. He would be too worried for us and would have pull through and live just for us.
Whenever I remembered how he teared when I called out for him when we're in the lift, I believed he heard me. If only I called him back, if only I pleaded him not to leave, maybe everything will be different. No one will understand what I've gone through, that period. I still cries whenever I think about my dad. I still blamed him for leaving us without saying goodbye.
I know I can't undo the wrongs, I can't wish for anything that would never come back.
Okay maybe I just need someone to talk to sometimes.
Couldn't blog anymore till next time.
